Title: Shitty Situation

Author: constipatedsam

Word Count: 1,066

Based on this

Trigger Warnings: Cursing, Sexual moment

A/N: its funny how my url corresponds with this lmao 

Fic:

      “Dean, that burns!” Your shrill voice pierced the air as it blended with the water falling like a passionate waterfall from the cheap motel shower head. Faint rust stains danced gaily around the holes in the steel that must have been instilled in the head fifty years ago when it was made. Tiles surrounding the tub were peeling off the frayed walls revealing brown muck glued to the ever so chipping paint that decorated the scenery. Other than the grotesque atmosphere, you felt pretty alive to say the least. You were thriving more than the mold within the ancient motel’s structure as you stood in the shower with the man that you had met that night. It wasn’t typical for you to engage in such risky behavior such as going home, or motel really, with a guy you barely knew. You were buzzed enough to where you didn’t really even care that you had caught a fleeting glimpse of an arsenal inside of his retro car’s trunk. He seemed nice enough to not butcher you, and hell, he was hotter than the water raining down on both of your bodies. The warm liquid didn’t even come close to the titillating warmth that felt like a pleasant shot of lava into your veins every time you acknowledged that his body was colliding with yours whether it be his fingertips gliding around the small of your back or your toes slightly nudging each other on the bottom of the tub. Buds of water were shining on his nose as the water splattered around from you recklessly flinging water upon him. He had thought it would be humorous to squirt the motel shampoo all over the shower to add some sort of childish excitement, but instead small droplets of the cleanser had found solace within your eyes. He was smiling to see you so aggravated, yet it made him want to kiss you more. His hands wrapped themselves around your wrists to prevent you from harming him with anymore of the water as he pulled his face onto yours, his lips quenching a thirst that that water never could. His lips were moist from the steam as you felt him force your back onto the wall, your head narrowly missing the shower head. You grinned slightly at the close encounter, but continued to hungrily collide with him. Each time his teeth pulled your bottom lip, you tugged back even harder. His hands found their way to your bum, grasping on tight as he prepared himself for what was bound to come next. A small hop lifted your body up on the wall as you wrapped your legs around his waist, not losing contact with his mouth. His hips made a small gesture as the door to the bathroom slung open with such a great force you thought that it was God himself storming into the bathroom to prevent the premarital sex. Your impromptu hookup immediately let go of you as you harshly slumped down the ground, your previously gripped bottom now encased by the pain of the plastic flooring of the tub colliding with your bones. A small ‘huff’ left your mouth at the sudden drop while the man abruptly pulled the curtain to, blocking any possible vision of you. He turned to poke his head around the other side of the curtain giving you a nice view of his backside. You were scared to death knowing that someone obviously was in the bathroom with you two, but you still managed to admire the wonderful line of sight. The man’s body twisted to where you could see his head crane to glance at whoever it was. All you could see from the corner you were still crouched in was the faint silhouettes of the two people beginning a conversation. The being that had stormed in so furiously was obviously a man but it was hard to defer from where you were because all you could see was the outline of long hair until you heard the unholy sound of what always comes out of men’s bums. It sounded like his intestines were waging a war inside of him as you listened into the encounter, afraid of what was going to happen. 

      “Sammy, you think you could come back later, like, when I’m not taking a shower?” Your date asked, his shoulders moving slightly as his lips pursed. The man on the throne lifted his head up from his phone that he was glaring at so intensely as he relieved himself and met his eyes with him. His mouth dropped open in wonder and his eyes squinted in confusion. His hands faltered as he propped himself up by his elbows leaning on his legs. 

      “What? Do you have a problem with involuntary acts of nature now? I swear to God something is always different with you. Can’t a man just take a nice dump every now and then without being interrupted? I mean, you know how stressful our lives are so I think I deserve this little piece of happiness,” The intruder defended.
      “Well, is this piece of happiness going to be a few pushes and then be over with or are you going to have to chug some milk of magnesia?” The man asked in return. Your stomach churned at the thought of being so close to a complete stranger’s waste.
      “Dean, what’s the hurry? I had Mexican yesterday and you know how that always makes me. Being in the cage doesn’t even come close to that burning sensation,” Sam chuckled as his shoulders shook in the self amusement. “Didn’t you have some Mexican last week? Her name was Maria, right?”
      You immediately launched your foot out as it collided with his ankle causing his figure to falter slightly. His hand struck out to catch himself on the wall next to him to prevent collapsing. Did he do this sort of thing often? How many times has he picked up lonely girls in bars? This hookup was turning shitty. (No pun intended).
      “Alright, fine. I’ll just come back later and do my business. And also, it’s really disrespectful to hide your girl in the corner of the shower like that,” Sam spoke as he slid from the bathroom, leaving you alone with your date once again.
      You tilted your head up as Dean looked down to you. “Maria, huh?”